Phase 6 - Age 12

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A phase is a time frame in a kid's life when you can leverage distinctive opportunities to influence their future!

Age 12 is the phase when...

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There are never enough groceries, too many hormones, and a dramatic kid that needs someone to prove, "WHO CARES."


There is no consistency in their mood, their interests or their dress code - on any given day, anything can change. Every day is a new day to discover who this growing person really is. In this phase there will be tears, both yours and theirs, so in the changing tides of emotions lean in even more closely. When they push - prove you can't be pushed away... When they change - prove you will love them consistently... When they break your trust - prove you are someone who can be trusted.

Just keep at it so in this phase there is never any reason to wonder - "Who Cares?".

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Pre-teens challenge authority and personalize what they believe. In this phase the question they are asking is: "Who do I like?" How they resolve this question determines the framework of their relational stability and it affects the way they see themselves, the world and themselves in the world. In this phase relational questions shift from black and white to grey, the answers are no longer the same for every kid. The best way to resolve their relational questions is to affirm their personal journey. They need an overdoes of acceptance to combat the storm of change and so how you do this practically is by recruiting other affirming leaders and peers into their lives so they gain stability.


They are motivated by acceptance, so when you respond lovingly, learn to listen more often, encourage more specifically and guide more patiently so you influence them to stop and think rationally before they respond in the moment.


The brain undergoes a rapid growth of nerve cells and synapses similar to the first years of life.

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